The myth of the aloof cat

I always think that when someone says cats are aloof, s/he must not have spent a lot of time with a real cat. It annoys me when people say cats are self-serving, aloof, selfish, manipulative, etc. The truth is: cats are like people. You will get cats that are like that, and others that are not. However, people seem to think ALL cats act that way because they know so-and-so who has a cat and that is how it behaves.

Well, most cats are very particular about who they bond with. I went to order my wedding flowers yesterday at the florist's home and she had three gorgeous cats, all lovely and affectionate, but mainly with their catmum (the florist). Cats seldom cuddle up to complete strangers. They will try to mark you with their scent by rubbing up against you, but they won't often hop in your lap for a cuddle session. Some cats are shy and will run and hide when they hear strangers, others will get territorial if they feel you have overstepped your boundaries. Like any other animal, they each have individual personalities.

Mika and Mako are nothing alike in temperament. Mika is extremely loving and affectionate, but mainly with me (her catmum) and sometimes with Chris. Mako shows affection to both Chris and myself, and sometimes to regular guests (especially if they have food!), but he has bonded most with Mika and shows most of his love to her. He will wail if he wakes up from a nap and can't see her around. Our beloved late Kez had a very special relationship with Chris, to the point where he trusted Chris completely. When Kez had a bad infection in his eye, he placidly lay there while Chris squeezed the pus out of the wound for over half an hour. If anyone else had tried to do that, they would have been shredded in two seconds!

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats
find humans useful domestic animals."- George Mikes

This quote made me laugh, but I think there is a lot more to the cat-human relationship than that. There was a case in the news recently about a cat who woke his owner when there was a fire in the house. The owner grabbed the cat, and they both jumped out of the window. It could have very easily gone out of the cat door and saved itself, but it chose to save its owner too. The cat is to be awarded a medal for bravery. There was also the story about the man who commited suicide by jumping off his balcony. Without a second thought, his cat jumped after him. Self-serving? I don't think so.

A lot of writers and artists have found inspiration in cats. Leonardo Da Vinci said, "The smallest feline is a masterpiece." My favourite author, Neil Gaiman, says his cats keep him company when he's up late writing. In fact, one of his short stories is about a cat who defended its family against an evil that came knocking every night. Cats are also being introduced into aged care homes because they can help to lower one's heart rate and relax a person. I always find that I drift off into lovely daydreams when I have a warm, purring cat in my lap!

I disagree that cats only give attention to humans when they want something. Mika and Mako will wait patiently outside the bathroom door if Chris or I are in the shower, and then follow us to the study/bedroom for a cuddle, not to their feeding bowls. Cats can also be very sensitive to their human's moods. When Chris and I are having an argument, Mika will jump up on the table or chair closest to me and rub her cheek against me so I stop and look at her, then I instantly calm down, and the argument will usually blow over. The first few times this happened, I thought she wanted attention or feeding, but now I know why she does it - because she doesn't like us fighting.

Cats are a lot more work than dogs are. You have to earn their trust and loyalty, but isn't that the way it is with other people as well? Some of my best friendships have taken years of building, and the reward is a friend for life. I feel my bond with Mika is rock solid, and she is more a friend than a pet. I think everyone who has the resources or the ability should experience the pleasure of bonding with a cat, at least to find out why so many people love them with a passion!

"If you are worthy of its affection, a cat will be your friend, but never your slave."- Theophile Gautier