Happily Ever After?

Chris and I finally made it down the aisle at the end of May this year. It's been a long time since I've blogged, mainly because I was busy with pre-wedding preparations and then got lazy after the wedding. Here are the pictures in no particular order:

With this ring...

Chris looking suave.

Me looking amused... this was after three glasses of pink champagne. I became so pink the makeup artist had to powder me down.

The back of my dress. My favourite part.

My engagement ring nestled in my wedding bouquet.

Chris had tears in his eyes. He got choked up while saying his vows, which of course set me off as well.

Lighting one candle to symbolise the beginning of our life together as one.

Signing our wedding certificate. We both look relieved.

A photograph of us in the gazebo

In the gardens. I've always pictured myself getting married in the evening. We didn't quite make the sunset, but I thought the candlelight and low lighting made everything even more romantic.

Our wedding cake. It was chocolate mud in white sugar icing.

Us cutting the cake.

And finally, our bridal waltz...

My wedding dress waiting to be worn.

So there you go. All that preparation for one evening that flew by in a blink of an eye. If I had the chance to do it all again, I'd probably stretch it out over a full day rather than squeezing the ceremony and reception into one night. There was no time to relax and enjoy the moment.

It's been over three months since we said 'I do' and I have to say, married life isn't so different from our lives before we took the plunge. I've changed my name because it meant more to Chris than it did to me. I was originally opposed to the idea because I felt it was a way for a husband to claim ownership over his wife, but then again I know that is far from what Chris wants. And we *are* a family now, so it makes sense that we have the same last name.

Is our relationship any different? I think it is; we are more at peace with each other because we know our lives stretch ahead of us, and the little things aren't worth sweating over. Chris has always been the more tolerant one in our relationship, and I think marriage has made him even more so.

I find it amusing that movies usually end with lovers getting married and audiences are supposed to assume that means they lived happily ever after. In reality, the wedding is only the beginning of the hard work that lies ahead for a couple. No wonder so many men and women want to be married - popular culture has led us to believe everything will be fine after a ring is slipped on their finger. Neither Chris nor I believe in divorce, so that's not an option for us. I guess we are commited to working through whatever problems we may face, and have decided to pick our battles wisely. In 50 years' time, would it really matter if he leaves his socks lying around?

Love is such a strange thing. Finding it may be difficult for some, but I think the real challenge is maintaining it. I've been watching a documentary on SBS called Desperately Seeking Sheila, about four outback blokes looking for a woman to move out to rural Australia to live with them. Out of the four blokes, two were complete duds. What does that say about the general population of men?! The other two relationships seemed to work out after the three-week 'experimental' phase, and the couples were revisited a year later to see how things were going. Only one relationship survived the test of time. Very bleak statistics, if you ask me.

I don't know what lies in store for us, but we make each other laugh, we trust each other, and made a promise we are commited to keep. Maybe I should say we're living contentedly ever after.

Waiter, there's sand in my jelly!

Summer is slowly fading away and we are getting shorter and colder days. Living in Melbourne, the weather can change at a moment's notice. I remember one particularly hot evening around the Christmas period, when Chris and I were feeling listless. I suddenly had the urge to sit at the beach and eat jelly and watch the tide roll in.

Chris is already used to my mad whims, so after a bit of persuading, we headed off to Mordialloc, about 45 minutes away from where we live. It was pretty windy, and I remember feeling like I was walking against a wall of pressure as we headed into the supermarket to get some jelly cups. You'd think that would have given me a hint that it was NOT a good night to sit at the beach. But noo.. we soldiered on and finally made it to the beach.

The wind was twice as strong there, and sand was being whipped up like we were in the middle of a desert sandstorm. At least I was getting my legs exfoliated! I needed two hands to hold on to my jelly cup, and of course, I inevitably ended up with sand in my jelly... and my eyes... and my clothes... and my shoes... I finally had to admit that this was not one of my better ideas. We braved it out for about 10 minutes, then decided to head home. The next time I get an idea like that, it might be a good idea to check the weather report BEFORE heading out!

We have been making progress with wedding stuff. My wedding ring was finally ready on Thursday night, so we rushed there after work to pick it up. The diamonds weren't spaced the way I had imagined, but the look is growing on me. I like how it looks unique, and there is room to add a diamond on either side further down the track.. maybe to mark a milestone in our marriage (like first baby, buying a house, etc.) It was weird having two rings on my finger, but I'm sure I'll get used to the extra weight. Besides, I actually prefer it without my engagement ring. I think it looks plain, but with a hint of sparkle.

I can flip it around so it looks like a classic plain band and doesn't look too blingy!

It was Chris's birthday this Saturday, and I had organised a party at Hogs Breath followed by a round of glow in the dark minigolf. It was a lot of fun, and I think Chris had a good time. He is now 29... hehe... old man! I'm still a spring chicken at 27!

Ok, more random pictures... this is the best spaghetti marinara I've ever had. It wasn't even at a proper restaurant. For any spaghetti marinara fans, I recommend Matthew Flinders. It was only $16 and you get mussels, scallops, fish, prawns and the best part - a stuffed crab!!! When it first arrived, I thought it was just a crab shell for decoration, but it was actually stuffed with crab meat. The marinara sauce is delicious - tomato-ey but also with lots of the best quality olive oil that has an almost grassy flavour to it. Chris wasn't too impressed with his steak, but I would go back again for this spaghetti.

I bought my wedding shoes over the weekend. It was hard to justify paying a lot for a pair of white shoes that would never match anything else I own, but then again, you only get married once. I love my shoes. They were $65, and have tiny Swarovski crystals on the top. I love the way they have been embroidered at the top to resemble lace.

Just because I'm happy!

It's been a while since I've updated my blog, so this will be a long entry. It has also been a really good weekend, and I'm in an insanely good mood. We are finally making progress with wedding plans after a long lull in December, when we were both too broke and depressed about being broke to handle any more wedding details.

Last weekend, I flew to Sydney for a lovely girly weekend with my two bridesmaids. Swift and decisive, they managed to find a dress they both liked in ONE day! I think they should both be awarded black belts in shopping. It was nice to be back in Sydney again, and it was a big load off my mind that they both found their bridesmaids' dresses.

The pond had a cute little stone bridge and lots of koi swimming around

My sis and I stayed at Stamford Grand at North Ryde. It was such a beautiful hotel, well landscaped and the rooms were huge, with separate lounge area and two televisions in each. It had a really 'resort-y' feel to it, sort of like a retreat away from the bustle of the city.

On the Fri night that I was there, something magical happened. Mel and I were at our friend Annette's home, having dinner on her lovely back porch, when Annie's neighbour called us over to see something special. We peered over the fence and saw the most amazing big white flowers blooming from a comparatively small plant. He said they were called 'King Flowers' and they only open for one night, every three years. They would blossom magnificently till midnight, and then close again. He cut three of these rare beauties and gave them to us as a souvenir of our special night.

A picture of the magnificent King Flower.

Last weekend flew by in a blur, but this week we've been just as busy. On Monday night, our usher and groomsman came over to help us assemble the invitations. It was a lot of fiddly work, but we had a good time with wine, cookies and music in the background. On hindsight, we were lucky no one spilled anything on the invites!

Tuesday night, we met with our future photographer and all I can say is he is a perfect fit for us. He's funny, unobtrusive, easy to get a long with, doesn't have a huge ego, and knocked $350 off the price because I told him we would have trouble paying the quoted amount. Oh, and he also has a cat! Definitely the photographer for us. Some of the photos in his portfolio made me laugh; others made me teary. That's the way I want to remember our wedding day.

On Friday night, we put down the deposit for our honeymoon and signed up for the registry. I am SO excited about our honeymoon in Tassie... our travel agent put together a great itinerary, with luxury rooms in all the properties for ten nights, and an overnight ghost tour on the last night. May is so far away!!!

I also found my perfect wedding ring on Friday night at Temelli Jewellery. The first time Chris and I went there a few months ago, the sales assistant pulled out some plain bands and diamond bands for me to try on. There was a plain band that I fell in love with. It was perfect - just as domed as my engagement ring, in fact, it looked like it had been custom made to match. But the saleswoman kept pointing me in the direction of the thousand dollar diamond bands, and I got confused by all the sparkles being thrown in my face!

I decided a few weeks ago that I wanted a plain band because I want my wedding ring to last forever, and a band of diamonds would be more fragile than a plain one. So, I told Chris that I wanted to try on the plain band at Temelli again, all the while expecting it to cost up to $500 for such a substantial-looking ring. We were served by a MUCH nicer sales assistant this time, who was funny and honest, telling me she thought the plain band DID look much better with my ering, rather than pushing me in the direction of the more gaudy looking rings that would cost much more.

Chris had budgeted $700 for my wedding band, but we were told that my band would only cost $250 because my finger is a size E and a half, and they would need a lot less gold to make it. Every where else we had been to, they had insisted on charging me more because the ring would have to be 'custom made' for such a small size. Bonus!! Chris asked them to make up the difference by burnishing small diamonds into the band, so that it would be sparkly, but the diamonds would be flat on the band and would never fall out. I love that my ring will be unique and made specially for me :) I know it sounds silly to stress over such a small thing, but I think the wedding ring is even more important than the engagement ring, and it holds much more sentiment for me, so I want it to be perfect!

With most of the wedding stuff out of the way, I went along with Chris to Highpoint shopping centre today, because I'd never been there. They had a Build A Bear shop there! It's such a great idea, especially for kids. You choose a flat bear/cat/dog, and take it over to the bear-stuffing machine. The bear then gets stuffed to your requirements (hard, soft, medium, etc) and you are asked to cuddle the bear after it's stuffed to see if it's just right. Then (and this is my favourite part) you pick a little stuffed heart out of a bowl, warm it up between your hands, make a wish, blow a kiss into the heart, and then put it in the bear! It's then stitched up, and you can choose an outfit for your bear. There are a few 'dressing rooms' for you to try outfits on your bear to see which suits best, but all the outfits are made to fit all bears

Chris bought me a Hello Kitty :) It was a lot of fun making her, and you even get a birth certificate. I chose a little Japanese outfit for her, but plan to go back to buy a few more. It was so cute, the outfit comes with matching accessories: a Japanese fan, satin shoes, and two flower 'hair' accessories. When I was entering info for the birth certificate, the little girl sitting next to me picked up one of the flower accessories and showed it to her friend. I almost yelled, "Hey, that's mine!!" then realised I was a 27 year-old woman acting like a 4 year-old. Very embarassing.

Anyway, it's been a great weekend, and I feel thoroughly spoiled :)

Chinese New Year in Box Hill

It's the first day of Chinese New Year today. It's a searing 36 degrees, and I'm waiting for Chris to cook our breakfast.

The whole of Carrington Road in Box Hill was closed for the CNY festivities yesterday. We meant to head up there to have a look during the day, but it was too hot to even contemplate moving out of the cool darkness of our basement. Eventually, we emerged at about 6pm, but had to head to the city for a housewarming.

I thought we must have missed the boat for the festivities, but when we got back to Box Hill at around midnight, the party was still in full swing. There were little stalls set up along Carrington Road selling all sorts of snacks and dim sum, and a carnival packed with screaming kids had been set up in the carpark.

We wandered along and browsed the stalls. There were all sorts of iced confections sold like ice kachang, ice longan, red bean ice, etc. The strangest thing I saw was a stall selling 'egglets'. They looked like little kueh baloo and were sold in a round mass, like a waffle. There were the usual suspects like taiwanese sausages, bbq pork jerky, char siew pao, etc. and the weird like grilled glutinous rice with chips (??). The most popular stall appeared to be the hot/cold crepe stall, which sold freshly made crepes wrapped around ice-cream and topping. We had been snacking non-stop at the housewarming party, so I could only fit in a small supper of prawn dumplings (har gow). They weren't as good as the ones you'd get at a proper yum cha restaurant, but managed to kill the 'must-eat-some-sort-of-festive food' craving. I wish I'd had room in my stomach for the Japanese tako balls; they looked delicious.

I was amazed that the street was still bustling and awake at midnight, with more and more people arriving, and the stalls showing no sign of closing for the night. I wish I'd had my camera with me to capture the mood. It was great, and it really made me glad I live in Box Hill.

The myth of the aloof cat

I always think that when someone says cats are aloof, s/he must not have spent a lot of time with a real cat. It annoys me when people say cats are self-serving, aloof, selfish, manipulative, etc. The truth is: cats are like people. You will get cats that are like that, and others that are not. However, people seem to think ALL cats act that way because they know so-and-so who has a cat and that is how it behaves.

Well, most cats are very particular about who they bond with. I went to order my wedding flowers yesterday at the florist's home and she had three gorgeous cats, all lovely and affectionate, but mainly with their catmum (the florist). Cats seldom cuddle up to complete strangers. They will try to mark you with their scent by rubbing up against you, but they won't often hop in your lap for a cuddle session. Some cats are shy and will run and hide when they hear strangers, others will get territorial if they feel you have overstepped your boundaries. Like any other animal, they each have individual personalities.

Mika and Mako are nothing alike in temperament. Mika is extremely loving and affectionate, but mainly with me (her catmum) and sometimes with Chris. Mako shows affection to both Chris and myself, and sometimes to regular guests (especially if they have food!), but he has bonded most with Mika and shows most of his love to her. He will wail if he wakes up from a nap and can't see her around. Our beloved late Kez had a very special relationship with Chris, to the point where he trusted Chris completely. When Kez had a bad infection in his eye, he placidly lay there while Chris squeezed the pus out of the wound for over half an hour. If anyone else had tried to do that, they would have been shredded in two seconds!

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats
find humans useful domestic animals."- George Mikes

This quote made me laugh, but I think there is a lot more to the cat-human relationship than that. There was a case in the news recently about a cat who woke his owner when there was a fire in the house. The owner grabbed the cat, and they both jumped out of the window. It could have very easily gone out of the cat door and saved itself, but it chose to save its owner too. The cat is to be awarded a medal for bravery. There was also the story about the man who commited suicide by jumping off his balcony. Without a second thought, his cat jumped after him. Self-serving? I don't think so.

A lot of writers and artists have found inspiration in cats. Leonardo Da Vinci said, "The smallest feline is a masterpiece." My favourite author, Neil Gaiman, says his cats keep him company when he's up late writing. In fact, one of his short stories is about a cat who defended its family against an evil that came knocking every night. Cats are also being introduced into aged care homes because they can help to lower one's heart rate and relax a person. I always find that I drift off into lovely daydreams when I have a warm, purring cat in my lap!

I disagree that cats only give attention to humans when they want something. Mika and Mako will wait patiently outside the bathroom door if Chris or I are in the shower, and then follow us to the study/bedroom for a cuddle, not to their feeding bowls. Cats can also be very sensitive to their human's moods. When Chris and I are having an argument, Mika will jump up on the table or chair closest to me and rub her cheek against me so I stop and look at her, then I instantly calm down, and the argument will usually blow over. The first few times this happened, I thought she wanted attention or feeding, but now I know why she does it - because she doesn't like us fighting.

Cats are a lot more work than dogs are. You have to earn their trust and loyalty, but isn't that the way it is with other people as well? Some of my best friendships have taken years of building, and the reward is a friend for life. I feel my bond with Mika is rock solid, and she is more a friend than a pet. I think everyone who has the resources or the ability should experience the pleasure of bonding with a cat, at least to find out why so many people love them with a passion!

"If you are worthy of its affection, a cat will be your friend, but never your slave."- Theophile Gautier

A Family Affair

Our friends T and B recently got engaged and we were invited to their engagement party last night. T comes from a HUGE Vietnamese family. There's a family picture on the wall, and it looks like one of those school alumni photos you see in yearbooks!

According to Vietnamese tradition, the engagement is even more important than the wedding, because that is when the partner is officially welcomed into the family and becomes their 'property'. B and T had a tea ceremony with T's parents the morning of the engagement party, and now she has to call all of T's relatives by their Vietnamese names (eg. Sister No. 2, Brother-in-law No. 5, etc.). Even I get confused during Chinese New Year when I meet up with my relatives on my dad's side of the family because there are so many of them, and my Cantonese is awful.

Anyway, the amount of food at this party was amazing. There was a huge table set up outside with Vietnamese beef salad, macaroni salad, potato salad, normal salad, heaps of different types of bread, fried rice, cakes, donuts, muffins, prawn crackers, spring rolls, etc. On the bbq, they had marinated chicken fillets, Vietnamese pork ball skewers, pork chops, prawns, corn, beef, etc. And the food just kept coming! I need to get the recipe for the chicken marinade from T, because it was heavenly. It tasted better than anything you'd get at a restaurant... I tasted a bit of ginger, lemongrass, maybe some fish sauce, garlic, and some sweetness (honey, maybe?). There were all sorts of Vietnamese iced desserts, a bit like the Singaporean ice kachang.

There was such a communal feel to everything... it reminded me of the big parties we used to have at home in Singapore when I was a little girl, only with a LOT more people and food. At the end of the party, people were 'auctioning' off the food they had brought, and trying to get guests to take some home with them. It was very cute, and a fun way to end a party.

I think a party like that really highlights the importance of food and family. When friends and family come together with good food, it's always an enjoyable experience. There's the whole concept of commensality, where a group eats together at a table. All cultural, racial and social divides don't seem to matter - you just dig in, get your hands dirty, and appreciate the spread.

I'm so happy for B and T. Their wedding is in September, four months after ours!

Noodle Gourmet

I thought I would pay homage to my favourite noodle takeout place in Melbourne. I live in Box Hill, so there are at least a dozen places that do noodles, but I've found the BEST place for noodle takeout is Noodle Gourmet, along Blackburn Road, next to Safeway.

I first discovered this place when I was starving. After dilly-dallying in Safeway doing our grocery shopping, I was too hungry to do any actual cooking that night. I ordered my usual 'safe' choice, Seafood Noodle Soup. This was delicious - fresh egg noodles and generous helpings of seafood (prawns, calamari, crab stick) and LOTS of veggies in a homemade chicken broth.

The next time, I ordered their Tom Yum noodle soup. YUM! It's still one of my favourites. The same generous serving of seafood, fried bean curd and veggies with thin rice noodles (bee hoon) in a sweet, sour and spicy broth. I love the way the fried bean curd soaks up the broth and it squirts into your mouth like a little flavour bomb.

Another favourite of mine is the Seafood Mee Goreng (do you sense a common theme here?). This has the same huge serving of seafood and veggies, with hokkien noodles and a deliciously spicy sauce. Unlike most other places that do fried noodles, ND's are always cooked with more spices and seasonings than oil.

They also do a pretty good Char Kway Teow, with lots of prawns, egg, bbqed pork and bean shoots. Very nice, but not enough sweet black sauce for my liking. Still, this has the same 60% ingredients-40% noodle ratio that I love.

My latest addiction is their ginger and spring onion noodles. They had this on the menu with chicken, but I asked if they could cook it with (guess??) seafood and bee hoon. The results were sensational. It tasted a bit like the crab bee hoon that is so popular in Singapore. Lots of fresh ginger (no bottled stuff here), spring onion and soy sauce, with a hint of sesame oil, and tasty, tasty bee hoon soaking up all the flavour. My absolute favourite, 10 out of 10 choice!

Now, if only I had some pictures to back this up. Unfortunately, it always smells so good that I don't make it in time to take a picture. I'll try to remember next time! ND always puts the noodles in those cute little white noodle boxes, so it feels like you're getting takeout in America.

Ok, that's enough of my ode to Noodle Gourmet. Today, Chris and I have made a tentative step towards gardening. We bought some seeds and plant food while doing our grocery shopping and decided to plant them in the little flower bed we have on our front steps. I don't think they'll grow... Chris took the little packet and shook out ALL the seeds into one little corner of the flower bed. I pointed out to him that the seeds were meant to be planted 7-10 cms apart, so we tried tossing the dirt around to spread the seeds out a bit. Then we drowned the flower bed with a litre of water and plant food.

I have a black thumb, and I don't think Chris has grown anything before. so it will be interesting to see if these things grow! I don't even remember the name of the flowers, just that they're multi-colour and supposedly grow in three months. THREE months!! And this was the fastest growing seeds I could find! Some of them take up to 5 months to grow. I don't know who has the patience for this gardening business :/